My clothes don’t define who I am as a person.

Why do our clothes have to define us as individuals?

The other day I sat scrolling on facebook and came across my friend’s post. If you live in Ontario then you know that last week, it’s been incredibly hot outside. So wearing shorts, dresses, tank tops and all the other summer clothes has been everyone’s main priority beside’s getting somewhere with A.C. So when I was reading my friend’s post I was shocked. Becca had posted how she decided to wear a dress out to go take her son to the carnival that was on this past weekend. On her way down to the carnival which is a 15 min walk from her house, she had some boys (and I will say boys, as they are obviously not men) yell out their window and call her a whore. She posted a picture of the dress that she had been wearing and I saw nothing wrong with it. It wasn’t short, it was in fact past her knees. It was a strapless dress, so it wasn’t showing any cleavage so I couldn’t understand why anyone would feel the need to yell anything at her. In fact I loved her dress and would have worn it myself, seeing as it would have been the thing to wear in this hot weather. Especially to the carnival where your standing out in the sun for hours, chasing after your excited child running through the carnival. But wearing that dress someone decided that she was a whore, for no reason than to make her feel bad about what she was wearing. So horrible she had to go to social media to make sure the dress didn’t.

Body image, self-esteem, fashion, fat shaming

My clothes are NOT my consent…we should all think like this.

Why do the clothes we wear make people think it defines us?

My mother taught me from when I was young to be respectable and kind towards other women and wear whatever clothes we feel comfortable in. But I find that no matter what clothes we wear as young girls or older women we will always have comments made by others. When I was 12 I grew boobs before the rest of the girl’s in my class. It didn’t matter what shirt I wore, They were there. My grandmother use to make comments to my mother that because my shirts showed cleavage she was raising me to be a whore and my mother should buy me clothes that would gain me some class and respect.

Body image, self-esteem, fashion, fat shaming

Nobody should feel shamed!!

Why do the clothes you wear matter how people see you?

My shirts were the same shirts that I had been wearing for the last 7 months that my grandmother had no issue with me wearing before, but now because I had grown boobs and had cleavage my mother was raising me to be a whore. I was comfortable in these clothes, but now these clothes made me look like a whore, and I was only 12. My mother of course felt the need after that to go buy me new clothes that would cover up my newest, bigger body parts, after all according to my grandmother I needed to dress with class and gain some respect from my peers. The new clothes weren’t comfortable and I hated them. I was being taught my boobs were something to be ashamed of, that they needed to be hidden. Is this what we want to teach our daughters? We want to teach our daughters that to have respect and class you must hide body parts and this is where the school system comes in. 

What we teach our children matters, regardless if it’s at home or in the school.

I did a blog based on the fact that school’s were sending children home based on what they were wearing. If there straps were too skinny they were told to put a shirt underneath or if young girl’s midriffs were showing they would be sent home. Why? Simply because it could be distracting to the boys in the school from learning. I’m not sure how parts of bodies would be distracting but that’s their reason.

We’re teaching our children that it doesn’t matter if they are comfortable in their clothes or what they should want to wear is based on what is acceptable in society. What I find interesting is the fact that some people seem to forget that there is more than one message to teach your child. We should teach our children to be confident about their personality, their intelligence and their talents and to be uncomfortable with our bodies and what we wear. My mum brought me up to not be negatively judgmental towards anyone. She taught me to be confident in everything I do no matter what anybody says. She taught me to value my independence and how my introverted personality is something to be celebrated, not shunned.

Body image, self-esteem, fashion, fat shaming

Wear what you want and feel comfortable in, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks or says. Be yourself!

So why aren’t we teaching our children this? I teach my son everyday these things because my mother taught me these things. My mum learned later on that what I wear doesn’t define me, that even if I do show some cleavage that it doesn’t make me into a whore. What makes me, me is me. Not my clothes. 

Wear what you want to wear, not because it’s what everyone else wants you wear, but because you want to!

Women shouldn’t body shamed other women and parents should not talk negatively about other women’s bodies in front of their children. I don’t care how big a woman is, I will never sit in front of my son and comment that she’s fat. If anything I try and teach my son women are beautiful regardless of what they are wearing or how big they are or small. That what a woman or girl is wearing doesn’t matter, it’s what makes her an individual. I shouldn’t be told to “get some self respect” just because I chose to wear a short skirt on that particular day. I do respect myself thank you very much, and just because I am wearing something short or tight does not mean I am asking to get raped. Nobody asks for that. We should stop sexualising the female body, especially girls underage, no matter what they are wearing. Thankfully, I am comfortable enough in my body to wear whatever clothing I like, and that doesn’t just include short skirts and tight dresses.

Empower yourself and the women around you!

I am just as comfortable and confident wearing boyfriend jeans and a baggy top. As women, we need to stop making other women and girls feel ashamed about what they wear. A woman wearing revealing clothing has nothing to do with her self respect or her intelligence. We cannot teach the value of female empowerment then shun girls for wearing things that make them feel empowered.

If a woman wants to wear short skirts and crop tops, let her. If a woman wants to wear long sleeves and baggy jeans, then let her. Because we can do and wear whatever the hell we want. 

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6 thoughts on “My clothes don’t define who I am as a person.

  1. Pingback: Women are NOT defined by what they wear – Women Unshamed

  2. I love this great points . more women should read this and become aware that it’s more than okay to be comfortable in your own body and do what pleases you , wear wtf you want to wear , why are we the one’s who suffer the most because we’re being judge by the clothing we choose to wear …… thanks hunnie this helped a lot lets continue to empower each other.

  3. Almost all people with the means to make choices in how they dress do so in order to present an intentional image. You have every right to dress how you choose but those that see you also have every right to react and make a judgement based on the appearance you present.

  4. loved it . its true , we have to be left with the choices of clothes that we feel comfortable with.. thanks for giving me a new confidence.

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